Written by David Lynch and Bob Engels
166. INT. PALMER HOUSE, DINING ROOM – MORNING
A sign on the screen reads:
“TUESDAY – TWO DAYS BEFORE”
Laura sits at the dining table eating her breakfast. Leland pokes his head in.
LELAND (cheerfully): Don’t forget: It’s Johnny Horne’s birthday today.
167. INT. LAURA’S ROOM – MINUTES LATER
Laura’s hands are shaking as she does a line of cocaine. It is the last stuff she has — she puts the empty packet into her diary.
168. INT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Laura corners Bobby in a hallway.
LAURA: I’m nearly out.
BOBBY: It’s taken care of, Babe. You and I are going to make a big score tonight. (gives her a bag) This will tide you over.
LAURA: Thank you, Bobby. A big score?
BOBBY: Maybe our biggest. I’ll see you two doors down from your place at 11:00.
LAURA: Don’t be late.
She takes off down the hall. Rounding another corner she sees James coming towards her. James looks around to see if the coast is clear and seeing it is, moves close to her.
JAMES: I’ve got to see you.
LAURA: Not now.
JAMES: This afternoon?
LAURA: Okay. (remembering) Oh god, it’s Johnny Horne’s birthday today.
JAMES: What about tonight?
LAURA: I can’t tonight.
JAMES: What’s going on?
LAURA (freaking out): I just can’t, James. I can’t do it.
Laura keeps going. Donna comes around next to James. Together they watch Laura walk away.
169. EXT. GREAT NORTHERN – DAY
Establish.
170. INT. GREAT NORTHERN, BENJAMIN HORNE’S OFFICE – DAY
Open on Laura’s picture on top of Ben Horne’s desk. Then discover that Leland is staring at Laura’s picture.
Wider we see BENJAMIN HORNE trying to blow up a large rubber Indian for his sob JOHNNY. SYLVIA and JERRY HORNE stand nearby supervising.
Johnny comes up one inch in front of Leland’s face.
JOHNNY: Happy Birthday, Johnny.
LELAND: Happy Birthday, Johnny.
Johnny moves to one inch in front of Jerry’s face.
JOHNNY: Happy Birthday, Johnny.
JERRY: Happy Birthday, Johnny.
Ben reacts to a huge moccasin print in the middle of the birthday cake in the middle of his office floor.
BEN: Why did we have to have the party here in my office?
SYLVIA: Because Johnny wants it in your office. What’s so “private” “private” about your office, anyway? What can’t we have the party in your precious office?
JERRY: It’s a lovely place for a party, Ben. And look at the new decorations Johnny’s provided.
They look down and see Johnny’s foot completely ringed in white frosting roses. Frosted footprints trail behind him everywhere.
Johnny goes one inch in front of Laura’s picture.
JOHNNY: Happy Birthday, Johnny.
Leland looks again at Laura’s picture. He looks up at Ben.
LELAND (oddly confrontational): Don’t you have a picture of Audrey, Ben?
That sets Sylvia off.
SYLVIA: Don’t you have a picture of your own daughter, Ben? Where’s Johnny’s picture? (exploding) And where’s my picture I gave you?
BEN: At the photographer’s studio getting a gold frame with floral monograms of your birthday and our wedding vows.
Johnny moves one inch in front of Ben.
JOHNNY: Happy Birthday, Johnny.
BEN (trying to not explode): Happy Birthday, Johnny.
JERRY: Johnny, Johnny… let your Daddy and your Uncle and Leland talk. (turning to Ben) Ben… Leland, we can play the French against the Norwegians. What do the French love more than anything?
LELAND: Boating?
JERRY: No.
LELAND: Hiking?
JERRY: No.
LELAND: Eating?
JERRY: You’d think so.
LELAND: Sex?
JERRY: You’re getting warmer.
LELAND: Trees?
JERRY: Exactement. They are nuts over wood. They get goofy over trees.
SYLVIA: I’ve never heard anything like this before. The French liking wood anymore than anyone else likes wood. Are you three crazy?
LELAND: Sarah’s cousin is French and she can’t stop talking about the trees around here.
JERRY: History is on our side, Ben. It’s no accident that the great explorers were named Hennepin, Nicollet, Marquette.
LELAND: They were looking for wood.
SYLVIA (exasperated): Oh…
As they talk, Johnny circles the blowup Indian and with a mighty bang pops it with his tomahawk. “Bang.”
171. TWIN PEAKS SHERIFF’S STATION, CONFERENCE ROOM -DAY
Tommy “The Hawk” Hill, Truman and ANDY BRENNAN.
HAWK: Joey just called in. Bernie, the mule, left Canada about an hour ago.
TRUMAN: Then stop watching Jacques and let’s set a trap for Bernie.
ANDY: He’s coming in on foot.
TRUMAN: That’s right, Andy. (looks at him, waiting) I guess you’re saying there’s an awful lot of trails for us to cover.
ANDY: No, I was thinking what a long hike Bernie has to make.
HAWK (sensing an “Andy” situation): I’ll get on it.
172. INT. BEN’S OFFICE – DAY
Laura quietly lets herself in. Ben looks up, happy to see her.
LAURA (very quiet): I just wanted to say, “Hello.”
BEN: You missed the party. Look at my office. Come here.
He wiggles a packet of coke in front of her and she steps to him.
BEN (continued): For a kiss.
LAURA: Sure, I’d do alot more than that for it.
BEN: Ssshhhh, your father’s in the next office. You should’ve seen him get upset at Johnny’s party about your photo here.
LAURA: He’s always been jealous of you. You know that.
She moves in closer and kisses him. He responds.
DISSOLVE TO.
173. EXT. HIGHWAY 21 – NIGHT
Bobby roars through the night with his radio blasting.
