Written by Cameron Cloutier (1994)
What is happening in today’s world
when a very nice boy can not find a girl?
He has tried, but so far none.
Why is that? Other boys have tons.
And they treat females as if they are scum.
For God’s sake, all he is asking for is just one.
The very nice boy would love to advance,
if only the girls did not travel in packs, or
with dates to a singles dance.
The girl does not need to be perfect in any way
She only needs to be real and sincere–is that okay?
Maybe it is okay, and maybe it’s not
Who knows anymore?
Has the world forgot?
That people solely need to be themselves
Not wanting or pretending to be something they’re not
as if they’re still twelve.
On a date, he would treat her with the best of his kindness
and would stare at her body, and listen with blindness.
He would sit upright, and never slouch
especially when talking to her parents on their couch.
Opening doors would he, to his lady to be
If it is cold, she has his coat
Never, oh never would he allow her to freeze.
On this date, she is the lady of the land
Even if she’s not comfortable in public holding hands.
Right now, the boy is all by himself–and that’s okay
because he holds the wish that maybe someday
He’ll meet his princess, perhaps by the bay.
He possesses this thought, and holds onto the seams
As if knowing this idea will forever be a dream.
The very nice boy has his wishes–and knows them well
Only in this poem will he dare tell–
That he feels hopelessly all out of luck,
due to the fact that he won’t get a girl drunk.
All nice girls, get out of your house and go somewhere
so very nice boys can complement on your hair–
Never with lurid thoughts, only with care.
Open your sweet and beautiful hearts, and scream, “Here we are!”
So the real males can come
And sweep thee in thou arms.
Unless all you girls prefer to be treated as whores,
‘Cause I know that nice boys can be a bore.
Hey, go on with your lives, get drunk, get stoned–see if your “BOYFRIENDS” care
Remember Girls: Nice boys like us will always be here.