“Captain America: The Winter Soldier” (Film Review)

Tags

Agents of Shield, Bucky Barnes, Captain America, Chris Evans, Comic Book, Daniel Craig, Discussion, Film, Hydra, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Iron Man 3, Marvel, Marvel Universe, Michael Bay, Podcast, Review, Robert Redford, Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Studios, Superhero, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, The Avengers, The Dark Knight, The First Avenger, The Incredible Hulk, The Winter Soldier, Thor, Walt Disney Pictures

“A Nightmare on Elm Street” (Film Review)

Tags

2010, CGI, Clancy Brown, Film Review, Freddy Krueger, Horror, Jackie Earle Haley, Kyle Gallnet, Michael Bay, Remake, Rooney Mara, Samuel Bayer, Warner Brothers, Wesley Strick

By Shane M. Dallmann

Look–you knew it was inevitable. And it was inevitable that it would have a huge opening weekend at the very least. We’ve had our new Michael, our new Jason, our new Leatherface–there was no way this was NOT going to happen–so let’s just take a look and see how it fares on its own.

As for Robert Englund being the “only” Freddy Krueger? If that’s how you feel, fine. Perhaps you also feel Sean Connery is the “only” James Bond, and he may well be the original and the best, but the ensuing decades have established that he’s not the only ACCEPTABLE James Bond at the very least. And I could say the same thing about Dracula, the Frankenstein Monster, Sherlock Holmes or any other classic character you care to name.

The fact is that Jackie Earle Haley does an admirable and honorable job with the role of Freddy Krueger. He clearly took his role seriously and had no intention of providing a mere Robert Englund impersonation. Hey–this is RORSCHACH we’re talking about–and I seriously doubt they could have landed a better actor for this part. The ELM STREET redux hovers above the slag pile by virtue of Haley alone.

Yep, you heard me… alone. The movie itself… just isn’t very good. Sure, isolated moments here and there work, and the cast certainly tries its best, but the attempt to go back to the roots of the series and “re-imagine” it with a more perverse tone remains just that–an attempt. What we actually get is a severely pedestrian script that cuts corners and spoon-feeds the viewer (honestly, is there ANY good reason at all for Freddy to TELL Nancy that her memories fuel him? He just throws that out there at one point!), plays hell with logic (and I don’t mean of the supernatural variety–are you really asking me to believe that EVERY child involved completely forgot about the original incident, not that I’d actually spoil it here?) and is so focused on the character’s underlying corruption and sickness that it forgets to supply such details as what inspired him to, say, create a set of finger knives to begin with? Or just HOW he became a dream demon at all? (Craven’s original didn’t spell everything out, but at least it alluded to an ancient discipline that enabled certain parties to enter the dreams of others–we get NOTHING on which to hang our hats here)?

The new NIGHTMARE does manage to trump the original on one count–if you think that even the Craven classic had a nonsensical and incomprehensible fadeout, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

And another thing…

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

…could somebody PLEASE declare a moratorium on characters named “Quentin” and adrenaline hypodermics to the heart? At least in the SAME movie? Really. You’re embarrassing yourselves, people.

Cheers and kudos to Jackie Earle Haley for taking on a thankless task and giving it his all. A mere “meh” to everything else.

Stop Complaining About Michael Bay!

Tags

Action, Complaint, Dreamworks, Ego, Entertainment, Explosion, Film Director, Michael Bay, Paramount, Pearl Harbor, Public, Team America, The Rock, Transformers, Upset, Whining

Can someone please let me know why people still complain about Michael Bay movies? I mean, the guy has made enough flicks by now that you definitely know what you’re going to get. And if you don’t like them, then don’t go see ’em. It’s really that fucking simple.

But please, for the love of God, stop with all the bullshit complaining about his cutting style, ludicrous characterizations, inane plot constructions, unintelligible action scenes, etc. because Michael Bay has found his film voice and it’s not succumbing to laryngitis anytime soon.

You think complaining about him on a message board is going to solve anything? Not on a million ticket stubs.

Over the last 17 years, Michael Bay has simultaneously become a niche and auteur director–although a very powerful one. He makes a certain type of film and that’s that.

You want him to go away? Then stop going to his movies and ignore him. Really.

(Because it’s my theory that Michael Bay actually delights in pissing all of you off.)

And then turn your discussions towards the filmmakers you think actually deserve the praise. Use your voice for good.